Below is a poem I wrote for a contest. They allow publishing on a personal blog, so I might as well make use of that.

It’s about fighting in a relationship, and how that feels, and what you think when it’s happening, and how love sometimes makes things hurt worse, not less, and how ambiguous things can be sometimes (see stanza 3), how fleeting passions are, how love and commitment are not fleeting, and how sometimes everything is not okay but everything actually is okay all at the same time.

And yes, it’s autobiographical. And yes, I love my fiancé. And no, I’m not going to share her name on something that might get shared far and wide, but she knows who she is.

I hope you enjoy, and I hope it gives voice to feelings and hope to others that have felt this way, too.

Trust Me, Love

.Spells of sadness, mixed with rage,
And open wounds: our war we wage
Against the one we love most dear,
But that poor victim is not here.
Instead, the imp; the hag appears,
And with its coming raises fears
That always fighting, hating, yelling,
Crying, brooding, tear-drops welling
Is the life that lies ahead
Once you and I give vows and wed.

.You’re the hag, and I’m the imp,
And both of us are weak and limp,
For both of us are loved most dear,
And both bear wounds that reappear
With every text or word of slight:
Misread, misspoken late at night;
Forgotten quickly, swept away,
But fast recalled another day.
So here, who caused contempt to reign?
Was it your heart, was it my brain?

.Not forgotten, not at all.
Yes, everything I do recall.
It’s seared within my mind. I traced
When your tone changed and my pulse raced.
Your speech took meanings far beyond
The entry which should correspond
In dictionaries to the word
I know you said and which I heard.
I’m sure I’m right, and then I knew
Forever. Forever. Forever will my heart love you.

.Come to me, please come and mend,
And always say you’ll be my friend.
Please tell me that you are okay.
Please let your worry pass away.
Please give respect that is not due.
Please let me fail when I love you.
For I am less than what I planned,
And sometimes anger takes command,
But kindness will come out again.
My ever-growing love will win.

.Don’t forget back where we were
When you left him, and I left her.
And think how lost and low we felt,
And how our hearts, though hurt, did melt,
And how we both formed something new,
Though never easy, always true.
What is this thing we did attain
That overshadows every pain?
How strange this thing our fate has made.
But trust me, Love, I’m not afraid.